For kids, Mother’s Day should be simple, a time to show love, give a homemade card, and maybe enjoy a pancake breakfast. But for children navigating life after divorce, this day can be emotionally complicated. Whose house will they go to? What if one parent feels excluded? What if the other parent refuses to acknowledge the holiday at all?
These are the kinds of questions Jon Porter helps families navigate every day. As a seasoned Utah family law attorney focused on custody, Jon knows that holidays are rarely “just another day” when you are sharing parenting time. Even though court orders might dictate the schedule, emotions often dictate the experience, for kids and parents alike.
One of the biggest challenges is the loyalty tug-of-war. Kids do not want to hurt either parent, and when a holiday like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day approaches, they may feel pressure to “pick sides” emotionally, even if the parenting plan is clear. If the co-parents do not make space for celebration and respect, children can end up feeling guilty, anxious, or withdrawn on a day that is supposed to be joyful. That is why proactive planning is key. If your parenting plan does not specifically address Mother’s Day, it is worth revisiting.
Utah courts generally expect parents to act in the child’s best interest, and that includes supporting healthy relationships with both parents. That might mean being flexible on time-sharing, encouraging a phone call or visit, or even helping your child pick out a card or gift for the other parent. It may not always be easy, but it matters more than you think.
For families with stepparents, the dynamic can get even more layered. Jon often helps clients balance the importance of honoring the child’s relationship with their biological parent while also recognizing the role of a stepmother or bonus mom. The key is communication, both with your child and your co-parent. Trying to erase or replace relationships rarely ends well. But expanding the circle with empathy and maturity, that is where the real healing can begin.
Ultimately, the goal is to keep your child out of the emotional crossfire. You do not have to be best friends with your co-parent, but you do need to model respect and resilience. Because one day, your child will look back on these holidays, not just for the cards and pancakes, but for how safe and supported they felt while navigating a new family normal.
Jon Porter is here to help Utah families create parenting plans that work for real life, including the messy, meaningful moments like Mother’s Day. If your current agreement needs updates or you are facing holiday-related stress, his team can help you find solutions that protect what matters most, your child’s peace of mind.